My birthday, I have been roaming this world for 27 years now. I did one of the things that other people might call insanity ; to go on an unplanned adventure. This is not new to me though. I used to do this when I was in college when all I needed to worry about was my grades, outputs, unlike right now; bills, crippling anxiety and seems never ending bills and anxiety. I don't know how this is going to solve my problems, but I know I need to do this. Today. And there is one rule; no overthinking, no second thoughts and no hesitation.
So to start, I went to a bus terminal in one of the malls here in my city and hopped on to the first bus that I was going to see. There it was, a bus bound for Buendia and I knew immediately where I should go. Mall of Asia. It took 2 hours before I arrived at Buendia, walked a little until I saw some e-bikes bound to MOA, hop in and *tenen* (surprise sound fx), I'm in MOA. No plan what to do, where to go. I'm in MOA. Suddenly, I feel like I want to go to the seaside and ride MOA eye all by myself, wanting to do that since college, but I did not have enough allowance for the fee way back then. On my way to exit the mall onto the seaside, I saw a crowd of people on the exit and I wondered what was happening. That is where I found out that the whole seaside was closed due to an event; something about a fireworks display. I became curious and, without second thoughts, I bought a ticket worth P500.00 for a Gold Tier, just below the VIP. I was escorted to where Gold ticket holders are designated and the waiting time began. I don't know what I'm expecting, and I don't know what my P500 will bring me. I'm kind of surprised that they set up the area like there is really a large event when we are just going to watch fireworks that usually last only for 10 minutes. I saw speakers everywhere, there was even a stage, loud music, there was a large LED display showing ads for sponsors for the event, there was no one in the MOA eye and, also, in those fun games, since the area is closed for the event. Around 9:30, the event finally started, and the host started to speak on the stage and that is where everything made sense to me. I am in a yearly "INTERNATIONAL" Pyro Musical Competition, where 10 plus countries all over the world will compete for a fireworks display competition. Okay. I love where this is going. The host goes on like a typical event: prayer, opening National Anthem, opening remarks and so on... Then here it is, the show will start and the country that will display will be the Philippines and Netherlands. I'm excited. The fireworks started to go off, and I suddenly found myself being a kid lost in the middle of the crowd hypnotized by the lights in the sky and feeling like I was in trance how those lights synced with the music. I know all of us have already seen a fireworks display, but watching it as a pyromusical is another whole thing. Nothing planned. Just let the wind blow me, rest my brain and let the foot do the work, yet here I am, standing in the middle of a crowd of strangers and having one of the best days of my life. After the displays, I decided to go home and was clueless again about how to because it'd been a while since I did that. I arrived home around 2am in the morning.
After that short trip, I think I knew why I needed that. (1) A little visit from the past and realizing that I am not stuck at all. I can afford now to ride a MOA eye without thinking if I still have money to go home and buy a ticket for P500 blindly. Not a lot but a step forward. (2) I learned to trust myself again in little things that I am doing. Trust that I can reach my destination, trust that something will happen with my P500 ticket. Trust that I can do it. I can make things happen and, lastly. (3)My mind was able to rest, and didn't overthink what I was going to do next. I was carefree. I don't have to think of somebody, just me. What "I" want, where "I" want and what "I" want.
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